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Letters To My Sister
My prison counselor told to amend with the past. I’m not sure how to amend with you, because you’re off to a better place now. I know what he did to you, even if you looked happy and full of life. I always knew. But I couldn’t do just anything, because of what he did to you, he did to me as well. You loved playing sports until… you know… mother. Father changed, we all changed, and not for the better. Your dreams of playing soccer were shattered. You tried, but quit soon after because the marks became visible. One day, the wounds were so severe that they started to bleed again during your practice. Thirteen dark red stripes started to appear on your back, the blood was oozing through the fabric of your shirt. You were so focused on playing the game and hiding the pain that you didn’t even noticed it was bleeding. Luckily for you, Gene was there to snap you out of it and to get you out of practice. I know he did it... I wish I could have done something, but I was too ashamed at the time that you were even my sister. But now, I am sorry.
I would almost say “hey, how are you?” But I can’t. My eyes are stapled wide open, I’m restless and the medication that hey’ve given me is failing. My mind is racing a thousand miles a second, my hands are twitching to beats of my heart. I’ve been thinking about mother lately. Do you remember the story she told about people being like gardens? I do. It goes like this: people are like flowers. Flowers want to blossom, but weeds overpower everything. And flowers learn to tolerate weeds. But if they can’t, the weeds need to be pulled to save the garden. Who decides what is a weed, and what not? I think I did. If mother didn’t have to pick you up, she would still be alive.
For what I have done, I am the architect of your last breath, the creator of your only protection, to die was your destiny. To keep you safe from the wrath that was happening to you, I had to kill you. And for that I am not sorry, I am, in fact, delighted. My only regret is that I was not able to purge father out of his living misery. I asked God for a favor, and my prayers have been answered. I hope to see you soon, Emma.
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